Which Inner Resources Are You Drawing On?

We all want to feel independent, to be able to deal with things in an effective way. Occasionally we may need outside support, but once we become adults, we want to be able to support ourselves the majority of the time.

We all have inner resources to draw upon, such as our wisdom, knowledge, and experience. Sometimes however when we need to draw on our inner resources, we make a costly mistake…

To illustrate what this mistake is, imagine this scenario….

You are sat on your sofa after work, feeling really tired, your also really thirsty, your whole body is aching, and even though you are thirsty, you end up falling asleep without getting a drink.. In your dream you see yourself feeling very thirsty, you see a water fountain, and you go and get a cool refreshing drink of water, in the dream your thirst is quenched.

Did the fact that you dreamt about having a drink of water actually quench your thirst in reality?

We could refer to the imaginary drinking of the water in the dream as a ‘false resource’.

When you wake up, you discover that you are still really thirsty, so, you head to the fridge and pour yourself a cool glass of water, you drink it and are satisfied.

This scenario illustrates the mistake we can make when we try to deal with life from our inner resources.

As we have already acknowledged, we all have inner strengths to draw from. We also have the ability to visualise new possibilities. All of these are useful and productive.We also have practical emotional patterns that can serve us, such as being able to stay calm during a challenging time. All of the above are ‘real resources’.

There are other false resources that we may find ourselves using, and these will not yield positive results. For instance..

If we find ourselves overcome with anxiety, and then we believe everything the feeling of anxiety is telling us, we will not make good decisions, and we may start to catastrophise. Anxiety is only ever legitimate if there is a real physical threat to our wellbeing. So undue anxiety would be classed as a false resource.

On the other hand, if we draw on past experiences where we have handled things well, and it resulted in us achieving our goals, then this can be a real resource for us.

We have to be judicious in the way we choose inner resources. As we have seen, we have both positive and negative resources within us.

Examples of false resources.



Self doubt


Self pity

Examples of real resources







In our scenario, we can see that drinking from a water fountain in a dream will not quench our thirst in reality. Just as using false resources to solve challenges will not bring us the results we want to achieve.

For more information email couplescounselling.family@gmail.com

Tel.Lynn on 079449211230

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