How To Transform A Faltering Relationship

Many couples get off to a great start, they are in love, or at least there is a strong attraction, and then, after a period of time, things change. There’s more arguments, the romance seems to have faded,… the couple feel more like cell mates than soul mates…. If things get really bad they may even decide to separate or divorce. Some couples who stay together, live parallel lives, they are no longer a couple, just two people living miserably under the same roof.

What Went Wrong?

The information that couples need to know, is that the disillusionment phase happens to most if not all couples. All relationships hit the phase called the power struggle. This phase is marked by conflict. The couples who make it out to the other side of this phase are those who have learned relational technology

What Is Relational Technology?

Its a way of talking and listening to each other consciously, this means learning how to be present to your partner. A lot of the time when our partner is talking, we are more involved with our own defensive reactions than with really listening to our partner. This is why we need a structured process to help us stay present to our partners communication.

When we learn how to use relational technology in our relationship, we heal the past, and help each other grow and thrive.

We have to debunk the cultural myth that conflict is a sign that your with the wrong person, conflict means that growth is trying to happen!

(We do not advocate anyone staying in an abusive situation)

When conflict creeps into a relationship, both partners can feel at a loss as to how to get back to the love and romance they started out with. The good news is that it is entirely possible to rekindle the love we had in the beginning, and to build it into something even greater.

There are 3 phases of every intimate partnership.

Phase 1. Romantic love, usually a strong attraction, the couple feel compatible.

Phase 2. The power struggle, marked by conflict. The couple may begin to doubt their compatibility, (it is at this crucial point that a couple need the safe communication dialogue process)

What is the ‘safe communication dialogue’?……It is a 3 part process that gives structure to our conversations, making our communication safe for both partners.

Phase 3. Real love, the couple have now become passionate friends, conflict is now transformed into effective communication the majority of the time.

A couple can overcome any difficulty, when they learn relational technology.

When a couple learn how to communicate in a safe way, it makes it possible for change to happen. We can not only recapture the romantic love we had in the beginning, but also build it into a passionate friendship.

Conflict is a sign that something new is trying to come forward, we just need the right relational tools to navigate it.

For more information on couples coaching and counselling, please email

Tel.Lynn on 07944921130

Online coaching and in person appointments in Leeds

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